'It's not like this impacted him in any way': Teen loses job after parent schedules non-negotiable vacation time for him

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
May 20, 2023 11:00 PM EDT

For some reason, this parent thinks that their son's first job isn't important at all. A first job is a big deal, though, and clearly this person's kid thought so too.

In a post to r/AmItheA**hole, a parent called u/Educational_Gur_2679 asked if they were really in the wrong for a situation with their kid and his job. Like many teens, this 16-year-old got a part-time lifeguarding gig. And additionally, he's located in Florida, so that's a job that will be available year round. 

The teen asked for some time off to take a family vacation, but his boss denied it. The reasons don't seem personal, but he hadn't been there long enough to have earned time off yet. The OP took personal offense to that anyway. They insisted their son still go on the vacation, which left him fuming. Check out the story below to see whose side you're on… although commenters were clearly against the OP. 

Next, check out this discussion over airline etiquette sparked by a debate over who can lean their seat back (or not). 

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  • 01
    Water - 'We just don't want him to prioritize work over family, especially at some weekend job.'
    via Markus Krisetya on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - AITA for making my son quit his part time job to go on our family vacation? My husband and I have three children, a 16 year old son, and two daughters 13 and ten. Our son got a part time job as a lifeguard at a pool back in March (We live in South Florida, so the pools are open pretty much always). It was a good job for him, he liked it and was happy to have the money. The issue was his boss was an as about giving time off.
    via u/Educational_Gur_2679
  • 03
    Font - Our family takes a yearly vacation to this little beach house we rent for a year, we've done this since the year I was pregnant with my son. Of course the kids all love it and look foward to it. Well my son told his boss about the week when he signed up, but because that was only six weeks after he started there, he denied it.
    via u/Educational_Gur_2679
  • 04
    Font - We made it clear he was still going, it's just a part time job and there are a million of those. He protested, but we made him go, and his boss fired him. He was furious the entire time, he refused to do any family stuff or listen to us, so he was grounded when he got back.
    via u/Educational_Gur_2679
  • 05
    Font - It's not that we don't trust him to stay home alone or anything like that. We just don't want him to prioritize work over family, especially some weekend job. He found a job at another pool two weeks later, so it's not like this impacted him in any way, but he still holds a grudge about it. He claims we didn't respect his choices, and he's right, we don't respect him trying to choose his job over family time, though we don't hold it against him since he's just a teen.
    via u/Educational_Gur_2679
  • 06

    In the comments, the OP found no love for their rather harsh parenting style.

    Font - runedued Supreme Court Just-a [... YTA. Look, you forced him to go to vacation, causing his his job and income. Then you grounded him for being upset. Unless you offered to make up his income then I don't see how you were being fair. Did the kids love it or do you?
    via u/runedued
  • 07
    Font - AHOV Awkward-Arugula-3173 YTA for what you did and for the misleading title. You didn't make him quit his job, you made him get fired. Huge difference.
    via u/Awkward-Arugula-3173
  • 08
    Font - PolyPolyam Parta pant [2] This was teaching moment where as the parent OP should have stepped up. Giving the son advice about how to approach his boss was important. I know some people hate when a parent steps in for their kids but 16 is still at a point when a workplace should realize a minor employee needs certain concessions.
    via u/PolyPolyam
  • 09
    Font - "My family is going out of town and this isn't something negotiable, I'm required to attend. I've given you ample warning of my absence to find a replacement."
    via u/PolyPolyam
  • 10
    Font - If the son got fired, I'd be handling an allowance until a new job was acquired. "Son, I want you on this vacation because there's so little time before you're grown and doing your own thing. You'll have your own friends and priorities eventually so please come." I was a manager at fast food once, this isn't ground breaking new. The minors have a high roll over rate. Son is going to resent OP and honestly don't blame him.
    via u/PolyPolyam
  • 11
    Font - pcnauta Parta pant [4] And, IMO, a vital part of being a good parent is remembering what it was like to be a teenager - the newness of so many things and uncertainty combining with assuredness.
    via u/pcnauta
  • 12
    Font - Mom here, though, seems utterly dismissive of things that are huge and important in a teen's life like their first part-time job and the money that comes with it. And she also seems to forget that with money comes some more independence and freedom - no longer begging to get that video game (or CD if you're old like me!) or saving up to buy your first used car!
    via u/pcnauta
  • 13
    Font - Instead of understanding, we get stuff like this: We just don't want him to prioritize work over family, especially some weekend job. he's right, we don't respect him trying to choose his job over family time, YTA.
    via u/pcnauta
  • 14
    Font - As your children get older, parents need to relax more and give them more freedoms. Mom is heading for a lot of future problems if she's playing the "I'm an adult and I know more and know better than you and, thus, you WILL do what I tell you." OP's son is going to ditch going on the yearly vacation as soon as he can because mommy doesn't understand that you can't force someone to enjoy something and if you do, they will resent it.
    via u/pcnauta
  • 15
    Font - Erebu593 Completely agree by far the worst part is the punishment for something he didn't want to happen. It's asinine. OP YTA
    via u/Erebu593
  • 16
    Font - Wise-ish_Owl. Parta: pant [1] To be fair, there is no way I would leave my 16m home alone while I was away for a week even though he is not the partying type. If OP didn't have somewhere reasonable for him to stay then OP is only the AH for the grounding part
    via u/Wise-ish_Owl
  • 17
    Font - Zia-C Exactly! Why was he grounded for expressing his feelings?! Of course he was upset after being fired.
    via u/Zia-C
  • 18
    Font - NO drakeotomy Parta ipant [3] What OP did didn't just cost their child his job, it also took away any respect their son had for them. OP freely admitted they don't respect their son, now it goes both ways.
    via u/drakeotomy
  • 19
    Font - Foo NotCreativeAtAll16. A YTA. Aficionado [19]] *You made him lose his job*. He's 16. It's not like he's prioritizing work over vacation at 16. He is just starting to get started, and now he's got a job that can't be used for a recommendation. You seem so blasé about causing your son to lose his job. I'm glad that you don't "hold it against him", but he definitely has the right to hold it against you.
    via u/NotCreativeAtAll16

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boss aita work stories workplace Horrible Bosses family vacation lifeguard
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